It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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