Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
