11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Pappa wants mamma naked
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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