things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
