I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
