Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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