just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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