Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
