Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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