I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
