We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize