is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
