i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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