it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
