i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
