you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
