I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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