i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My life is pants optional.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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