I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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