my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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