yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
