I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
