It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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