In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
