First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
