You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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