Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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