Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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