Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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