Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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