He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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