Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
