Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize