Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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