He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
