She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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