like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
