We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
