Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
