the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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