And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
