If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
