There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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