If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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