you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
