So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
