If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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