Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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