I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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