Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
