My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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