this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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