I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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