Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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