so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
