ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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