White coat. Heels.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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