dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
