We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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