4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
