Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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