Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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