I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
