I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
