I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
