I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
