I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
