I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
