Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
