So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
