garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
