Nicole vs. Life
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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