What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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