I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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