I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
