i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
