I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
