Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize